Sometimes it's the things in life that to others seem like an ordinary day but to you mean the world that truly melt a mommy's heart. I talk about it a lot but it is still the center of our lives. Raising a child with a food aversion is a life that I could have never imagined. It has truly tested me emotionally. I grew up wanting to be a mommy and was definitely one of those girls who scribbled my future kids names on notebooks and imagined what life would be like caring for my brood day in and day out. It was a fantasy that came true for me at an early age. I've always loved cooking and baking. I'm not the best at it and I learn as I go but I've definitely improved over the years and truly enjoy loving people through good food! When Ash began eating table food as a toddler and we saw a picky appetite begin to form we didn't know any better as first time parents that this would lead to a life revolving around his diet. It was actually depressing to have a son who would not eat your cooking and struggled so greatly with something that we normally do at least three times a day without thought. Eventually, at age 8, Ash began seeing a specialist and was diagnosed with Food Aversion Disorder. The journey has been long.
Ash has been in therapy for one year now and he has grown leaps and bounds! We are so proud! About a month ago, Ash ate a piece of boneless fried chicken for the first time! Like I said, to most of those on the outside looking in this seems like no big deal but to us it is HUGE! We were at a praise and worship meeting for church and when we left the house we faced the same dilemma we have faced for almost 9 1/2 years with Ash. Do we take him a packed meal from home? Force him to try whatever they are serving at the meeting? Cross our fingers and hope they are serving at least one thing he will eat to tide him over until we get home and we can feed him a meal he will like? It's a constant battle. We chose to throw caution to the wind and go to the meeting without a back up plan. When I saw that they were serving Chick-fil-A sandwiches I was nervous. Ash had always refused to eat Chick-fil-A sandwiches. I did see, though, that there were bags of potato chips and knew that worse come to worse Ash would eat those and I could feed him dinner when we got home. Following doctor's orders, though, I went ahead and picked up a sandwich meal for Ash and placed it in front of him. To my surprise Ash opened the box with interest! He didn't immediately gag or hold his nose and push the food away, he unwrapped his sandwich and began investigating. Before I knew it he was taking bites! He wouldn't touch the chicken (as you can see, he's holding it with a napkin) and he nibbled small bites from the chicken but he ate it! I was ecstatic! I could hardly pay attention during the meeting because I was so happy!
Yesterday, Ash had another food breakthrough. After a discouraging meal on Friday night where Ash refused to touch anything on his plate and sat at the table for over an hour crying we had an amazing day on Sunday! At lunch, I made roast, mashed potatoes, corn and rolls. Normally, during a meal like this Ash would only eat the rolls and I would have to make Ashtyn a separate helping of chicken nuggets or a hot dog. Determined to make progress, though, I decided to try serving him the same meal as everyone else. We haven't done this in years! He's made such great progress, though, and his doctors feel he is ready to really be pushed. When I first fixed Ashtyn's plate and set it on the table Ash ran to the corner of the room, sat on the floor and cried. He refused to even sit at the table with the family. We made him come to the table, though, and then ignored his tears as the rest of us prayed, began eating and had a conversation about what we learned in church that morning. Eventually, Ash realized we weren't going to include him if he wasn't eating with the rest of us and his tears weren't going to get him anywhere and he turned around and began eating a roll. No surprise. I kept my eye on him without letting him know it...because if Ash knows you're watching his eating he gets shy and embarrased and will stop eating all together. After eating one roll Ash sat there, obviously turning up his nose to the rest of the food on his plate. So, in my best up beat voice (used in an attempt to ease Ashtyn's anxiety and entice him into eating some new food) I began explaining to Ash how my sisters and I used to eat roast when we were kids! I told him that we called roast "stringy meat" because my mom would cook it so long that it was stringy and tender and we could pull it apart like string cheese! Just like I cook it now! I demonstrated, using my fingers. Then I told him that my sisters and I would dip our "stringy meat" in so much ketchup that that's pretty much all we could taste! Ash loves ketchup!
I wasn't sure my attempt at light hearted, fake excitement over lunch would work but in a surprising turn of events...IT DID!! Ash picked up a teeny tiny piece of roast, weighed it down in so much ketchup it was even covering his fingers and put it in his mouth! What!?!? I was excited but couldn't show it yet because I didn't want to scare Ash off from eating anymore. I watched him out of the corner of my eye as he went back to the roast and began picking at it again. I watched him pick up another small piece of meat, slather it in ketchup and put it in his mouth. I could tell he was questioning the taste as he chewed and swallowed. That's when Ash looked at me and said "I LOVE IT!!" Hallelujah! Hallelujah times a hundred! Ash peeled his entire portion of roast into tiny strings and ate them in more ketchup than should even be seen on one kid's plate. It took him forever to finish but we were more than happy to sit with Ash at the table while he ate roast for the first time! He did try a piece of ketchup free roast one time during lunch but he didn't like it as much. I couldn't care less! He is officially eating more than chicken nuggets for lunch and for the first time in years is eating the same thing as the rest of the family for Sunday lunch! I was over the moon!
As if that wasn't enough, Sunday evening for dinner I made grilled cheese sandwiches and Ash agreed to try one. Again, I know it's hard to believe but Ash has never eaten grilled cheese! Never! I gave him his plate with a diagonal cut grilled cheese and a mini bag of chips and walked away to do some ironing. When I came back to check on the boys Ashtyn's plate was clean (minus one small bite of crust). I stood there in shock and wasn't even sure where to begin. I asked Ash if he had really eaten his entire sandwich?? He looked up and said "Yep!" I hugged him, kissed him, gave him several high fives as I oohed and aahed over his HUGE Sunday of eating!
I know that I'm probably jinxing myself by sharing all of this and I realize that there will be more road bumps ahead in Ashtyn's quest to eat a more normal diet...but for now I'm basking in the success of one Sunday in the fall of 2013 when Ash not only took a step forward but took a LEAP forward! I want to shout it from the mountain tops! I'm so proud of my boy!
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