mommy vs daddy

"My favorite thing is to shoot my bow and arrow with my dad. We shoot boxes far way. I love my dad."

It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I write this post. Earlier this week, as I emptied Maddox's backpack after picking him up from school I saw a folded red heart tucked into his folder. As a mom who's favorite kind of gift is the homemade kind, I quickly plucked the paper heart from Maddox's folder and opened it revealing a few short sentences written in Maddox's scrawled handwriting. I was literally close to tears before even reading what he had written just knowing that he had thought of me during his school day and had taken the time to write me a sweet note on this beautiful heart. As my eyes moved back and forth, deciphering Maddox's 2nd grade words, however, my heart rate picked up and tears puddled in my eyes for an entirely different reason. HE HAD WRITTEN A LOVE NOTE TO BRANDON!!!! What!?!? Immediately, my feelings of sentiment and joy were replaced with even stronger feelings of jealousy and rage! I absolutely couldn't wait for Brandon to get home and hear about this one! And in the mean time I made the decision to refuse to do any of Brandon and Maddox's laundry! 

Taking a breath and composing myself I thought, "don't overreact Erika." "There must be a reasonable explanation Erika." "You can get to the bottom of this Erika." So, knowing that this arts and crafts project must have been created against Maddox's will (and making myself feel better at the mere thought of Maddox HAVING to write a love note to his dad at school...) I carried the now infamous paper heart into Maddox's room and in my sweetest voice displaying my sweetest smile said "Hey Maddox! Did you make this at school today?" "Mmmhmm." He replied, not even looking up from his legos. "Did you have to write something about daddy or could you choose anyone...?" I asked. (Wait for it. Wait for it. My fingers are crossed! Please say they made you write a note to daddy...) "No! We got to choose whoever we wanted!" Maddox said with goo goo eyes and a big smile as his mind undoubtedly drifted to his (apparently) amazing father. In that moment, I wanted to march myself to my own room, shut the door and have a mommy pity party! This is not fair! All I do for this family and Maddox thinks of his dad when the teacher asks them to write a love note!?!? Even though on the outside, I smiled at Maddox (again very sweetly) and said "That was super nice of you!" and then floated down the hall in my normal mom-way deep down on the inside I was growling! Little did I know I was merely at the top of a slippery slope and about to slide down even further and faster. 

I sat the paper heart aside, trying to mend my own broken heart and mentally preparing the hard time I would give Brandon the moment he walked in the door, I went back to Maddox's backpack and continued going through his folder. This time I found an order form for a book his class is publishing. Apparently, each student is writing their own page for the book and drawing an illustration to go with it. The teacher will then collect each student's submission and have the pages bound in a real life, hardcover book! As Maddox walked into the room I asked him about the book! What topic would he write about? You guessed it. Maddox's face lit up once more and in the most excited voice I'm sure I have ever heard come from his mouth he announced "I'm writing about daddy for that too!" AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!! That's it, not only am I not doing Brandon's and Maddox's laundry anymore but, in fact, Ashtyn and I will now be living in our house just the two of us while Brandon and Maddox live in a tent in the backyard! Of course, outwardly I chuckled and proclaimed how wonderful that was and told Maddox how much daddy would love a copy of a book ALL. ABOUT. HIMSELF. I on the other hand was ripping through kitchen cabinets looking for my last bag of Milanos!

As soon as Brandon got home I recounted the entire afternoon to him. I told him how "awesome" it is that his son thought of him over his mommy and how excited I was that the two of them would be spending even more time together in their new campsite outside! Brandon, of course, thought I was hilarious but I could tell that deep down it meant a lot to him that Maddox had written such a sweet note.

If you don't know me than you don't know that this post was written dripping in sarcasm and for humor purposes only! Of course, I couldn't be happier that my boys have a dad who loves them, spends time with them and listens to them. Brandon can go from shooting guns with Maddox in the backyard one minute to playing video games or reading science books with Ashtyn the next. He is the most wonderful, attentive and protective father in the world and I am so happy that I get to raise our boys together! I am still dealing with my anger over the paper heart, though, and while Brandon and Maddox might never have been banished to their tent in the backyard I may or may not still be contemplating not doing their laundry for the foreseeable future.