Motherhood is the most conflicting, confusing, beautiful, distressing, heartwarming and heartbreaking experience a woman can ever go through. The ups and downs are unreal and unless you've experienced it yourself there is no way in the world I could describe it to you. One of the most endearing and infuriating parts of motherhood is watching your children grow. They reach milestone after milestone beginning the moment they take their first breath and from what I hear they never stop! As moms we love watching our children grow. There is nothing more beautiful and fulfilling. Amidst all the beauty, though, comes floods of anxiety and fear and worry and too many tears to count.
I absolutely love seeing the grown-up boys my babies are growing into! They each have their own unique personalities. They couldn't be more different from each other and yet they couldn't each be more perfect either. As our children grow and they demand more responsibility and gain more independence your heart, as a mother, both grows with pride and breaks with desperation as your children need you less and less each day. I'm sure my kids are getting sick and tired of all the things I consider a "milestone" in their lives. Yes! I'm that mom! The first time you pick up your own room? Yep! Take a picture! The first time you zip up your own pants? Absolutely! Take a picture! Every time you promote to a new class at church? Of course! Take another picture!
The past few weeks Maddox has wanted to make his own PB&J sandwiches. He gets so excited when lunch time rolls around and he BEGS to make his own sandwich! Honestly, he's pretty terrible at it. Did I just say that out loud? He is so aggressive, seeming to be in a race to see who can make a sandwich the fastest. He tears the bread, he gets jelly EVERYWHERE and by the time he's finished his PB&J isn't even recognizable as a sandwich whatsoever! Ha! But I couldn't be more proud! There is (and always will be) a part of me that wishes he would turn to me and say "mom, will you do it for me?" (we mama's always want to be needed...) but while my insides are screaming to be needed I am also so very proud that my baby boy is growing up and learning new skills every single day. I know that as the years go by Maddox's sandwich making skills will only improve (and of course I will be proud of him then too!) but nothing could ever be cuter than the messy, ripped up, heap of a sandwich he makes now. In fact, don't be surprised if in the future I start making my own PB&J sandwich just like Maddox makes his now! Yep! I think I'm on the road to being that crazy mom too! One day you will undoubtedly find me wrapped in Maddox's baby blanket, rocking in his baby nursery rocking chair, singing nursery rhymes to myself with his old bottle clenched in one hand and a crumpled up over jellied PB&J sandwich in the other. I fear it's all down hill from here...
I desperately want to say my boys can stop growing up any day now but I am so overjoyed at watching them grow! Grrrrrr! See how confusing this is!?
No comments:
Post a Comment