I can't carry the world alone anymore
O God, I'm desperate for some relief
It's heavy, I'm bending, Afraid I might break
Did I stop moving or did you leave?
The clouds grow darker with each day and hour
Thunder booms and rain begins to fall
Shelter seems so far away
I'm running but getting nowhere at all
I'm all alone and I'm scared
My body is soaked and I'm chilled
I just want to lay down and die right here
Does it matter if I give up? Is there really a purpose here to be fulfilled?
I feel like I'm sprinting with both eyes closed
My hands are tied behind my back
I've already fallen, I'm bleeding and bruised
Dear God why? I don't understand...
Just when I see a ray of light
Just when I think the sun will shine
Another bleak cloud appears in the sky
It blurs my emotions, confuses my mind
Somewhere inside part of me knows the truth
The rain, the storm, it must come
Will I survive though? Or will I drown?
I struggle and wonder if I can trust
How can I believe your whisper of love
While enduring the pain you won't take?
The hurt is so much louder
I smile and laugh. I keep moving but honestly it's all fake.
Won't you come Lord?
I beg. I cry. I plead.
I don't want to stand in the rain anymore
I want to be dry. I want to be free.
Teach me Lord and show me
How to seek for myself while standing for someone else
I can't seem to find the strength to do both
I'm drained and weak, I've put myself on the shelf
I feel bad when I feel, I feel bad when I don't
Sometimes I don't feel at all
I need to feel though, I need to hear and see
I'm so hungry to get over this wall
Draw me close Lord. Please open my eyes.
I want to know you're here
I'm tired of being tired inside
I'm so tired of living in fear
2 comments:
Nice writing Erika. Such sweet, authentic expression. Surely it is a fragance unto the Lord.
Your writings express how so many of us feel deep inside. Everyone goes through times when they "feel" abandoned by God. And it's ok to express those fears and feelings to Him. He created us! He knows which life events will create specific human emotions. Nothing surprises Him! The biggest thing we have to remember is to not let those expressions draw us away from His Protection and Comfort. Erika, your God-given talent to put strong emotion into words is exactly what we (your readers) need. Thank You!!!!!
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