sorry charlie

I am very sad to announce that this weekend our family of five dwindled to a family of four once again. Our puppy Charlie has found a new home. I really truly am so sad about having to give up our little dog but it was a decision that had to be made by facts and not emotions. We first welcomed Charlie into our home about six months ago. At the time, we knew that Ashtyn had had a fear of dogs as a toddler but were hoping that if we adopted a puppy that was so young and small and Ashtyn could watch the puppy grow up and even grow up with him that maybe it would help ease Ashtyn's fears. At first, we were hopeful. It would seem as if Ash was making progress with Charlie. He would at times let Charlie lay next to him on the sofa or even pet him if Charlie was standing still...BUT THOSE MOMENTS WERE VERY FEW AND FAR BETWEEN. For a large majority of the last six months I have spent every single hour, minute and second of my days doing my best to keep Ash and Charlie apart. If Ash wants to play outside...Charlie has to come in, if Ash wants to come inside...Charlie has to go out, if Ash is taking a shower...Charlie can't even go near the bathroom because if Ash hears Charlie's nails clicking on the bathroom tile he bursts into anxiety and tears. If Charlie made any sudden movement Ashtyn would take off running into a bedroom and shut the door behind him, leaning his entire weight onto the door afraid that Charlie may figure some way to break in. It's been an exhausting six months. I finally came to my wits end over the past couple of weeks as the weather has gotten nicer. Naturally, the boys and I have wanted to spend way more time outside but every time we would go out to play Ashtyn would either spend his entire playtime in the trampoline or in the top of the swingset where he was sure Charlie couldn't reach him. Ash wouldn't come down, swing, play ball, ride bikes or even play tag. He was always on the lookout for Charlie to come around the corner and "get him" so to speak. My heart went out to Ash and my heart also went out to Charlie. I hated that Charlie had to be kenneled or sent inside while we were playing or Ashtyn had to hide away in a back bedroom if we wanted to play with the dog. So, after much discussion and even more emotion we decided we needed to return Charlie to the adoption center we had taken him from six months ago. While the boys and I were in Ponca this week, Brandon worked everything out with the puppy adoption center and returned Charlie along with his paperwork and a bag of food. The adoption center understood our situation but it didn't take from the sadness involved for everyone. Maddox, of course, was very sad and (believe it or not) Ashtyn even teared up a bit. That was the saddest part of this whole thing. While Ash was so paralyzingly terrified of the dog he, at the same time, so badly wanted to be his best friend. Ash really tried hard not to be afraid of Charlie but we couldn't deny the fact that he just simply was. Tonight, when we got home from Ponca City I was very sad to see Charlie's empty dog house in the backyard along with his water bowl and some lonely toys. But while I'm still a bit sad I also know that, in the end, we had to choose Ashtyn over our new puppy. Ashtyn has so many fears in his little life that I don't want our own backyard to be one of them. There's already been several times this evening that I've thought "where's Charlie?" but I know that very soon Charlie will find a new home where he can run free and play fetch...which he loves to do! When we returned him to the adoption center we also turned in a write up of little Charlie. We made sure the next family he went to would know that he loves kids, loves to wrestle, loves to fetch and has alot of energy! Now, I have to do my best to know Charlie is in good hands and tomorrow I'll probably get all of Charlie's stuff out of sight so that it doesn't constantly remind us of this difficult decision. We really did love Charlie...even if it was only for six short months...