hungry

How do I get well?
How do I understand?
How do I control my emotions?
How do I take a stand?

I wake up to a racing heart
My mind won't stop at night
My days are filled with fear of the unknown
Doing my best to live by faith, not sight

Tears flow more often then not
Sometimes I'm waist deep
I want to hide under your wings
Give you my heart to keep

Why do I hold on so tight
When you've never given me reason to doubt
The unexpected throws me for a loop every time
I'm questioning what life is all about

I can't eat or I eat too much
I don't sleep or can't get out of bed
I keep busy to stay distracted
Or push the distractions far from my head

Sometimes I wallow in my fear
Sometimes my faith it soars
I never know what emotion will be next
I can be stoic while inside I'm a puddle on the floor

Selfishness creeps in
Life just isn't fair
Why have you isolated me? I hate to be alone
Deep emotions, anxiety, change...I'm bursting to share

There isn't time to settle
Life moves and I must follow where it goes
My mind is cluttered, it doesn't make sense
Seems like a series of constant lows

Please free me Lord from myself
Why can't I learn what you're trying to teach
I don't think I can survive one more blow
You're standing right there, why can't I reach

I'm desperate, finally desperate
I'm at the end of my rope
I feel helpless, confused, alone and afraid
I need more then what I offer myself to cope

I'm willing to try, O God am I ever
I want to give it my all
Please help me to get over this hill
I'm scratching and clawing but afraid I'm still going to fall

I just want life to be a smooth ride
Although, I know that may be too much to ask
Let me learn my lesson here and now
Clear my mind, heal my heart, help me take off this mask

I have to feel you next to me
Nothing less will do
Draw me close, don't let me go
I know the only answer is you