another desert

My little friend, Gray, is still battling cancer. He recently relapsed after being in remission for only a few short weeks and has begun another chemo protocol. He's such a fighter and has taught me more about LIFE through his battle then I can even put into words. He has changed my life. Gray has been battling cancer since October 2010 and throughout the past 15 months I have coped with Gray's diagnosis and treatment in many different ways. One of those is by writing. I love to write. I write about the good times, the bad times and even the sad times. Writing allows me to express myself and get my pent up feelings onto paper, helping me release my emotions. I have wrote alot of poetry over the last year through the ups and downs of Gray's fight and recently, when I got the call about Gray's relapse, I wrote yet again. I'm not a professional writer and I'm certainly not a poetry writer but my words express my feelings and help me to pinpoint a moment of emotion in my life. Here is my latest cry through poetry.

God what are you doing? This is impossible to understand.
Why do you clear away the clouds only to lead us into dry, desert land?

We had almost conquered the mountain. We were so close to victory.
But now the world is caving in. We're lost, bound and no longer free.

How can life go from joy to sadness with just one call?
Where are you Lord? Are you there? There at all?

I'm trying to make sense of this life but there's just no hope in sight.
Why can't we live forever in your presence Lord? Free of this emptiness and this fight.

Please take my fear Lord, don't let me carry this alone.
I don't have the words to say. I'm in shock, shaken and need to mourn.

I only wish I could be the one, please let me take his place.
He deserves life. He deserves healing. He deserves your grace.

What can I do Lord? Please tell me, to make this go away.
I'd walk to the ends of the earth if I could, there's no price I wouldn't pay.

My heart is broken right now and deep down I'm angry too.
We're weary from battle and tired from the climb, how can it be starting anew?

So many questions and so much fear that right now I can't even pray.
I'm scared Lord. I'm scared...I don't know what else to say...